08-23-11

August 23rd, 2011

It's a date that changed a whole lot of peoples worlds. I received a phone call that morning from Steve to tell me his Mother, Chris, had passed away. Talk about a shocker. Never in my wildest dreams would've any of us thought this was near.

I had a lot of time to think that morning while we waited for the next step at his parents house. Every thirty minutes the Grandfather clock would chime. Like it was announcing to the quiet house every minute that passed so life could go on. The awkward conversations to try to keep the tears from flowing. Realizing my strength for life wasn't as strong as I thought. Feeling bad because I knew deep in my heart the person I couldn't be strong for would've been for me. Had been strong for me on many occasions. And even though I only had her in my life for about five and a half years she is my family. I wished I had her for more years.

Death can make or break you. It's an intimacy with an entire family, including friends that brings living to a different level. We're supposed to celebrate a life, believe that she's in a better place without pain. Perhaps it's my selfishness that doesn't care and wants her back here where she belongs. It wasn't supposed to happen this way, there are things in life for years to come she was supposed to be here for. How can I get thru these things knowing she isn't? People say we can still talk to her and she is watching but for someone that has been filled with science and had any sort of faith wiped away, am I supposed to switch because I can't let go of a memory?

I have many memories, memories I will hold onto for a long time to come. And I suppose the family will continue to make memories without her and somehow find a way to honor the truly amazing person she was.

L to R Back Row: Chuck, Erick, Lee, Steffen, Shaun

L to R Front Row: Chris, Sue, Kelsey, Corinna, Steve, Me & Emily, Zach, Jessica and Preston, Nathan.

Danielles wedding in 2009